you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
