Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Watching her eat just hurts me
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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