Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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