Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
