I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
