So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
