Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
