She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
