will power is for people who don't want to get laid
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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