I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
