Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
