I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize