you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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