This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
