how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
