Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
