That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
