all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
