small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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