If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
smell my finger.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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