What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
