Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
