I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
