Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
