Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
