uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm getting married
To pizza
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
