we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
