How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
