is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
