Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
