I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
