I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
