I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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