You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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