yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Jerry, you need to find god
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
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