I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
