Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I got inside last night via doggy door
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
