I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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