I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
