she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
