so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
