who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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