Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
