I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
