:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
