I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
