That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
