these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
