I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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