we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
