haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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