I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
